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Updated January 2010
I try to make good choices, for myself, with the other person's well being in
mind,
but like anyone else I sometimes react in anger,
sometimes I'm misguided by fear,
(my own and others)
and sometimes I let my heart lead me where my gut is saying don't go.
And in doing so I am sometimes hurt, or sometimes I hurt others...
So I use these three very basic rules to try to live by...
Not always, but most of the time I am successful...
Judge not lest yea be judged.
The Lord isn't saying that others will judge us if we stand in judgment of our
brothers and sisters.
He is saying HE will.
Don't know about you but I think I'll leave the Lord's job to the Lord...
He knows the condition of someone else's heart better than I EVER will.
Forgive one and another
Forgiving doesn't release the other person from the responsibility of his or her
actions.
We are to forgive because forgiveness frees us from bondage...
frees us from being bound to what we hate,
frees us from being bound to the hateful.
Forgiveness empties our heart,
cleans our souls,
and lets the Lord place HIS love in our heart.
Forgiveness is between myself and my God.
I am human, loving those that hurt me would be very hard for me to do on my own,
so I do what the Lord tells me to
with faith that he will place in my heart what
HE wants there.
Only the Lord can work a wonder.
I have nothing to do with it, I can't help, assist or make it happen.
If wonders are going to happen in my life then I trust that He will bring them
to me..
Until then the only thing I can do is to have an open, willing heart.
I didn't ask to be widowed.
I didn't ask to be left behind because Rick
chose suicide either.
I had no say or choice in either matter.
I'd bring them both back if I could.
I do not want them dead.
But they are.
All I can do is go on and do the best that I can.
One way I can do that is to recognize that options and choices I have now.
Doing so is not taking advantage of their deaths.
It is simply making the most of my life.
Aubrey life taught me that I am responsible for defining what quality is to me.
If I fail to live the best I can than I dishonor myself.
If I let bitterness or anger reside in my heart then I stop myself right here,
where I am now, and I do not grow.
I then become the victim of my own pain, not the teacher (nor the student)
of my life lessons.
I can't let that happen.
I don't want to be anyone's victim, especially not my own.
I want to do more than survive the heartaches life brings my way.
The life I want to live, and the person I want to be,
has no place in it for meanness, or vindictiveness, or anger.
I can only try to apply my life lessons so that I make healthy choices for
myself
and my heart.
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Understanding why things happen the way
they do is an ongoing process for me.
If I can find a reason for why things
happen I am better able to accept and live with where life puts me.
Trying to understand why good people suffer and die young is a question
that has haunted me since my father and sister died when I was 16.
I've come to realize that I may never know
the answer, but in the search I developed a philosophy that is best
described by the following poem.
I've been able to apply these beliefs in almost every situation I've
encountered.
The couple that I just have not been able to apply them to remain a
mystery to me.
I have taken liberties to fit it to my own particular needs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes people come into our lives and we know right away that they were
meant to be here.
We know without any doubt that they are meant to serve some purpose,
(or that we are meant to serve some purpose to them)
They're here to help us figure out who we are
or who we'd like to become.
Or...
sometimes things happen that are horrible or painful,
and we are sure that we will never survive these events
or the feelings we are experiencing,
and still be who we are.
But in reflection we realize that without
overcoming these obstacles
we may never have realized our potential,
or our strengths,
or
our
own
heart.
I know now that everything happens
for a reason.
I do not accept that anything
EVER
happens by means of chance,
or by means of luck.
Illness. injury. love. loss.
Lost moments of greatness
and
moments of sheer stupidity
all occur to expand our souls.
Without these tests life would be like a
smoothly paved road to nowhere.
Straight and flat
and
safe and comfortable
but utterly useless
and
pointless.
The successes and downfalls we experience
can create who we are
IF we let them.
The bad experiences can be learned from
IF we're willing.
In fact,
they are probably the most poignant and important lessons we will ever
learn.
If someone hurts us
lets forgive them because they have taught
us the importance
of being cautious of who we give our
heart to.
If someone loves us
lets strive to love them back with as much
unconditional love as we are capable of,
because they are teaching us the
importance of giving instead of receiving.
Make every day count.
Not because we don't know what tomorrow will bring.
but because we cannot reclaim it once it is gone.
Except in our hearts.
And
lets keep our eyes on our goals.
Because if all we see are the obstacles
we will never reach the solutions.
and
true
happiness
lies
beyond
the
solutions.
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